I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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