Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
