Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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