take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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