Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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