but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Terrible idea I love it
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
