Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
