you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize