I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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