and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
