You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize