My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
