More tranny stories later!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
