I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
