I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think my nap took me to another dimension
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
