Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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