Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You need a sexual gate keeper
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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