so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
