'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
