he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
