after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
