Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
