Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Less talking, more tequila
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
