I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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