I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
