My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
