Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
