Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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