Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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