that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
