HIV tests are more positive than that guy
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
