listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
