I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
No subtext here. People are naked.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
