He is an equal opportunity slut.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
