i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
