apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
