Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
