What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
