At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
