girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Bring me that man meat
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
