real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
