I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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