I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
17 year olds will be the death of me.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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