"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
