it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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