Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize