He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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