the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
