no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
