I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize