Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
