I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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