just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
