she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
How naked do you want me to be?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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