But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
