i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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