She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
