I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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