SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
