This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize